In October 2017, a PET scan revealed Don might have cancer in his right neck area. While the news was concerning, Don felt confident he could face whatever was ahead. He felt blessed with a fulfilling life, especially after 44 years with his soulmate and wife, Ann. As a retired R.N., Don knew she had the knowledge, unwavering dedication and warmth to be an extraordinary caregiver.
A few days later, his surgeon performed a total parotidectomy and a right neck dissection to remove a tumor from his parotid gland. The cancer had already spread to his facial nerves, resulting in partial facial paralysis that persists to this day. When the biopsy results came in, his doctor delivered devastating news: a very serious squamous cell head and neck cancer with a grim prognosis.
At the time, there were no FDA-approved drugs for his condition, and the cancer was expected to spread aggressively to his brain and lungs. It was recommended that Don prepare for hospice, get his affairs in order and see a psychiatrist,’ as it was felt Don wasn’t taking his diagnosis seriously enough.
While his prognosis was heartbreaking, Don chose to approach it with humor and determination. Ann and he even laughed at his suggestion to ‘get our affairs in order,’ joking, ‘We’re not having any affairs!’ However, as a favor to his physician, Don agreed to see the psychiatrist. Her advice was invaluable: maintain a fighting spirit, cling to hope, stay positive, keep faith, and hold on to his sense of humor. This became Don’s roadmap for the battle ahead.
A Road Paved with Challenges and Goals
Radiation therapy began soon after at Stanford’s Cancer Center in San Jose—five days a week for six weeks. The treatment was challenging but tolerable. Meanwhile, a visit to the VA dental surgeon revealed that several suspect teeth might need to be removed, a common precaution for head and neck cancer patients. Ann and Don pressed for alternatives, and the surgeon offered a solution: daily fluoride treatments using custom trays. Ann’s unwavering support shone through as she committed to joining Don in this regimen. Seven years later, not only has Don stuck to it, he has also experienced fewer dental issues than ever before.
Following radiation, Don’s first oncologist’s outlook was even bleaker than his surgeon’s, offering zero hope. The combination of grim news left him in a dark place for a couple of days. But he soon rallied, setting goals to stay active, enjoy life, and fight back. He continued playing racquetball and pickleball, eventually walking five miles daily—even if it meant chasing Ann around their home with a walker. He also became a passionate supporter of Cycle for Survival, raising funds for rare cancer research for Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Participating as a rider and donor gave him a renewed sense of purpose.
During his research, which confirmed the surgeon’s negative prognosis, the most optimistic statistic Don found gave him only a 5% chance of surviving a year. Many sites suggested just 3-6 months. Don decided to defy the odds and become a 5% guy. A friend even gifted him with a BTO (Beating The Odds) baseball cap, which remains his favorite to this day.
A New Oncologist and Renewed Hope
In October 2018, Don’s first oncologist went on sabbatical, and a new oncologist entered his life. His approach was transformative. He told them to forget the negative predictions and believe in miracles, sharing stories of stage IV cancer patients defying all odds. He even offered to pray with them (if they were comfortable), a gesture that deeply moved them and strengthened their faith. His presence brought hope and light into their journey. Contrary to the initial prognosis, Don’s cancer didn’t progress as quickly as expected.
With Miracles, Good Luck and Medical Advancement, Don Continues to Forge Ahead
Over the years, Don has experienced several health events that he, Ann and his doctor felt had miraculous results. When two new tumors appeared near his esophagus and trachea, traditional treatments were too risky to even try. Believing they were facing hospice a second time, their original radiologist suggested that a Stanford-developed SABR radiation technique, although very risky, might be considered. With no other choice they agreed to try SABR with both tumors disappearing after five sessions.
In April 2020, two new lung tumors appeared again which were much worse this time as they were now attached to his trachea and esophagus so even SABR was not an option. Hospice awaited a third time? Miraculously that month the FDA specifically approved the immunotherapy drug Keytruda for his head/neck type cancer. Against high odds, his DNA qualified him to try it. Miraculously, the tumors disappeared after two infusions, and his immune system has kept the cancer at bay for nearly five years without further treatment. Heavens aligned again?
In late 2021, Don suffered a life-threatening adrenal crisis which was much scarier than his cancer journey as he and Ann thought he was dying with hospice awaiting a fourth time. Shockingly, the crisis was caused by Keytruda – the drug which saved his life a year earlier. With prompt medical intervention by Stanford and the Palo Alto VA, a daily hydrocortisone regimen, plus daily balancing exercise, has kept this adrenal insufficiency disease with ongoing imbalance issues managed thus far.
In June 2024, two new lung tumors vanished between scans, leading them to believe his immune system had returned to the fight after a brief vacation.
Looking Ahead with Gratitude
Don and Ann feel immensely blessed. They continue to pray for all patients battling head and neck cancer and for advancements in medical research.
He’s also set new goals, including hoping to help Stanford build a head and neck cancer research lab and possibly competing in the Senior World Games in October 2025. As a former gold medalist in racquetball age-group singles, just participating would be a dream come true, explained Don.
While survivor’s guilt occasionally weighs on Don, counseling has been a tremendous help. He remains committed to living fully, supporting others, and cherishing every moment with Ann. Her unwavering love and support—and perhaps her direct line to heaven—have been his greatest blessings.
Together, they continue to be very grateful and encourage all cancer patients to never give up hope. Miracles really do happen!
